If you’re experiencing the pain of infidelity you’re probably a little bit skeptical of those claims as you may feel that the hurt, painful images and anger you are now experiencing will never fade away.
We’re here to tell you that they can and it’s very possible that you can recover and heal from infidelity, but…
…it’s not going to be easy and it’s going to take the commitment and hard work of each of you in order to do so.
During the three or so years that we’ve been involved with our blog we have noticed hundreds, if not thousands of betrayed spouses who are stuck in their recovery and in their healing from an affair.
This feeling of being stuck might happen several months or even years after the discovery of infidelity.
From experience and interaction with others in the same boat, we have been able to identify certain behaviors on the part of the cheater that can either lead to success or failure at surviving infidelity.
This is not easy for those unfaithful individuals with the best of intentions, and is certainly more difficult – if not impossible – for those who just don’t “get it.”
In our situation, we were recovering nicely. The thoughts of the affair didn’t invade Linda’s mind nearly as much as they once did. The triggers were occurring far less frequently and when they did, their effects were minimal.
Now, in our case, it wasn’t as if he wasn’t trying hard – and even Linda said he was doing the right things…
Most of the time however, the stuck feeling occurs because the cheater is helping very little – if at all – during the recovery process.
In a nutshell, the most prevalent underlying reason for this feeling of being stuck is the lack of consistent help and effort from the cheater to do the things that the betrayed spouse needs them to do in order for them to be able to recover and heal.
It seems like such an easy thing to do, but for some reason the cheater either refuses to give the betrayed spouse what it is they’re most longing for or they simply just don’t know what it is they need to be doing on a consistent basis.
Through our work with other couples we became so frustrated from hearing story after story of cheaters who refuse to help at all with their partner’s affair recovery and healing, wondering why their partner just can’t “get over it,” that we decided to do something about it…
Before we continue, let us just say that it’s very difficult to be labeled as a cheater. The cheater has to accept that label before they can begin the healing and recovery process.
If you are a cheater and are still living in denial that what you did was justified or not as bad as you are ready to admit to yourself and your spouse, then these steps will not be productive.
…we all know that most cheaters will never take the initiative to buy it, so it’s more than likely up to the betrayed spouse to do so. (You are to be commended if you are the exception to this rule!)
Oh, and it’s also from a male cheater’s (Doug) point of view, though it will certainly benefit the female cheater as well.
The same issues tend to exist whether the cheater is male or female. You will just need to apply a woman’s perspective on things.
It is written with the cheater in mind, but this guide is appropriate for the betrayed spouse as well because she can understand the strategies and action steps as they relate to her own situation and create a personal guide or road map towards healing and recovery.
There are also many victims of infidelity who have no idea what it will take to get them through the healing process.
That being the case, this program will help that person become more aware of what she needs the cheater to do – even though the cheater may not be willing to do these things at this time.
…However, if each partner follows the advice in this program and puts forth a strong and honest effort into trying to heal and rebuild the relationship, the chances are quite good.
This program is for the person who has realized that they have screwed up royally, are remorseful and want to try to save their marriage and help their spouse heal as effectively and as quickly as possible.
We can tell you from personal experience that by doing these 24 things and working to connect with each other, you can not only survive, heal and recover from the affair…
…but you can fall back in love and you can create a marriage that is wonderful, fulfilling, fun and actually feel as if you were starting all over again.
And honestly, if you’re the cheater (perhaps a serial cheater) who just doesn’t “get it” and has no desire to do anything to help heal, then we will truthfully tell you that you’re wasting your time getting this program.
I was very moved by the personal touch – hearing a real person, who had made mistakes after affair discovery – the contents spoke to me as a betrayed partner on a more “real” level than any of the affair and psych books have. ~ Carla
Every man, who has cheated on their wife, and wants to change his relationship into something better than he could imagine having, should read this book – and then DO what Doug recommends! If your wife/partner has stayed, and wants to find a way to forgive you and make your relationship better, you will come to realize what an incredible gift you have in her. This book will help you to avoid some of the common pitfalls, guide you to understand… Read more…